write to me
by StopBreakingMyHeartTellTale
Summary: oneshot request: "Can you write a one-shot of Clem having another dream with Lee, but then Louis joins them because he died?" I'm sad, now y'all get to be sad with me.


_Summer evenings, just as the sun is starting to set, have a distinct smell. Once the earth begins to cool, the faint breeze holds an earthy floral scent, sweet and nostalgic in the way it fills her lungs._

_With her back pressed against the enormous oak tree, the one adorning the tire swing, Clementine tilts her head back to admire the golden glow of the sky. Stretching her legs out along the soft green grass, she wiggles her toes and sighs at the freeing feeling of naked feet. Her sundress, a yellow cotton lacking sleeves, flows around her, soft and clean._

_A harsh burst of wind ruffles her curls and cools her warm cheeks, sending goosebumps along her bare arms._

_It's peaceful here, more so than anywhere else, she thinks as she watches the tire swing sway with every warm breath of wind._

_"This is a nice change."_

_Lee leans against the tree, admiring the swing with her._

_"Much better than the train," he adds with a smirk._

_"I think so," she smiles._

_Lee inhales deeply, rolling up his sleeves as he moves to sit beside her with a small huff. Clementine scoots closer to him, resting her temple against his shoulder._

_"How you doin'?" he asks. "With everything?"_

_She glances down at her legs, spreading her toes out again._

_"I don't know."_

_"It's a lot to handle at once."_

_Clementine closes her eyes, linking her arm with his and whispering, "It hurts. All of it."_

_"I know it does."_

_Lee pulls his arm away to wrap it around her shoulders, pulling her into a side hug._

_"You're alive, though. That's all that matters."_

_While the safety of his embrace calms her, it does nothing to lessen the tight squeeze around her heart, like a hand whose fingertips dig in deep enough to break through. It's a pain that causes her exhaling breaths to shake, teetering on the line of a mere quivering chin and a desperate, broken sob._

_"By the way, can I just ask-" Lee says, catching her attention. When she peers up at him, he's _staring_ forward with a curious brow perked. "-_why_ purple?"_

_She follows his gaze to the unfinished mansion, so enormous it surpasses the clouds, seemingly neverending. It's only partially painted, most of it remaining an off-white color while the rest a is the loveliest shade of royal purple she's ever seen. When the setting light hits it just right, it's intensity becomes breathtaking._

_"Don't see a lot of purple houses," she says quietly, a small, woeful small tugging at her lips. "Why not stand out?"_

_Lee chuckles, the laughter rumbling against her, easing the tension she feels within herself._

_"Yeah, guess that's true. But, what about all those floors? The rooms? It's gonna take him a long time to finish it," Lee grins, pulling back to fully look at her. "He hasn't stopped talking about it, you know. Got it all figured out. He's been tellin' me all his plans for this one floor with nothin' but pillows on it."_

_That gets a real laugh out of her, the giggles erupting to where she has to cover her mouth._

_"God, of course."_

_"And I asked him, 'What in the hell do you need with a whole floor of pillows for?'"_

_"Swear," she teases, pointing up at him._

_"Oh, c'mon-"_

_"Swear!"_

_Lee shakes his head, chuckling harder and continuing, "Anyway, he goes, 'How else are we supposed to build the best, most awesome pillow fort conceived by man?' Then, he threw a pillow at me."_

_"He what?"_

_"Threw it right at me and hightailed it outta there! That kid..." Lee looks at her, his smile softening. "He told me he's gonna put in a skylight, too. After he's done building your tree house, of course."_

_The _fist_ tightens around her aching heart, damn near _bringing_ tears to her eyes as she looks away from him, down at her hands. Her fingers curl, nails biting into her palms as she attempts to control herself._

_"Clementine?"_

_"It's not fair, Lee."_

_He's silent, all the laughter inside him _gone_, replaced with a knowing, sympathetic sigh._

_"It never _is,_ sweet pea. Losin' someone like that… it cuts deep. Hurts a long time. But, you'll come to accept it, just like you always do. Like you did with your parents, with me."_

_"I just thought I finally had someone," she whispers. "Someone who'd hold me, kiss me and tease me and make me laugh, I-" her voice breaks, breath shuddering as her eyes burn, "-I thought he'd- he just- I didn't even get to-"_

_Lee hugs her again, his warmth enveloping her as he rubs her back in soothing motions._

_"I know, Clem. I know."_

_The sorrow, the guilt, the anger, all a dangerous concoction boiling over in her blood and flowing through her veins consumes her._

_"He misses you, too."_

_A cool breeze stings the hot tears dripping over her cheeks._

_"Talks about you more than he does the damn house."_

_Lee nudges her, worry furrowing his brow as he stares down at her teary eyes and distraught pout. She buries her face into her hands, hunching over and trembling._

_"He deserves to be with the rest of us. Not- not… If I had just- had just stopped Minerva, then maybe we could've snapped Tenn out of it and-"_

_"You can't change what happened, Clementine," Lee's frown deepens as he eyes her. "It's okay to feel like this. Hell, I don't think you'd be human if you didn't. But, blaming yourself, and blaming Tenn, doesn't change the fact that he's gone. And you can't be mad at him for saving Tenn's life. That's not fair, not to yourself, not to Tenn, and definitely not fair to Louis."_

_Clementine's silent._

_The branches above her rustle, a sound that's almost pacifying. Dark green leaves fall, landing on her dress and bare legs._

_She feels Lee nudge her, and when she looks at him, he's gazing back at the mansion with a wide, knowing grin._

_From around the corner, carrying a paint can and a roller, Louis appears._

_Her breath hitches._

_He's whistling a tune, dreads pulled back out of his face. His jeans roll up over his calves, purple staining them, his shirt, his hands. He's barefoot, strolling through the grass with a calm, content smile on his lips._

_He stops to set everything down with a huff, kneeling to pour the paint and coat the roller. Clementine watches him continue working where he left off, presses the purple everywhere he could reach. Her pulse flutters at the beautiful sound of him singing to himself._

_"... The summer dream behind the eye, and it's the sleep that makes me alive…"_

_She lets out a shaky breath._

_"...The sudden ease when you arrive…"_

_Beside her, Lee shifts around, pulling himself back to his feet._

_"...And it's you, that makes me try. …"_

_He picks off stray leaves, grinning down at her with an encouraging smile._

_"Go."_

_She blinks up at him before turning to watch Louis again, stretching up on his tippy toes to try and cover as much as he can in the lovely royal purple._

_"Go to him, Clementine."_

_She's standing, brushing down her dress and running her fingers through her thick curls, attempting to be presentable. Her throat's gone dry, still in disbelief that she's seeing Louis only a few feet away from her, still singing and wholeheartedly painting their dream home._

_The home, for those short seconds, she had imagined them living in._

_Imagined them building it together, laughing and chasing each other around with dripping paintbrushes, flinging the globs of purple through the air in a paint war._

_And when the war ended and they were laying on the ground beside one another, panting and grinning like complete fools, she'd lean over him. She'd wipe paint off his cheek and kiss him, light presses of their mouths moving _together_ the way they were meant to._

_But-_

_But now that's nothing but a fantasy._

_"We'll talk later, sweet pea. I promise," Lee says, catching her attention. "He's been waiting to see you."_

_With that, Lee pulls her into one last hug before turning on his heel back towards the mansion. She raises her hand to shield her eyes from the blinding sunset, watching him move around to the other side and out of sight._

_Her focus goes back to Louis, turning so that the sun presses against her back. With every step she takes, her heart thumps louder, harder, pulsating through her entire body._

_He's there, truly there, smiling that smile of his that she loves so damn much. With the glow hitting him just right, she can see every freckle kissing his skin, scattering long his nose and cheek, over his chest, his arms._

_She stops, her foot nearly touching the paint can. Her mouth parts in search of words, but can't find any. The longer she stares, most her insides swell with heavy, longing feelings. Feelings to reach out and touch him, prove that he's really there._

_He stops painting._

_From the corner of his eye, he sees her and she feels that look shoot warmth through her._

_He lowers the roller slowly, shifting himself around to face her, eyes widening and his grin spreading._

_"You're here," Louis beams. "Come to check up on my big project, huh?"_

_"Louis," she breathes out, nearly sounding on the verge of tears._

_"It's a work in progress, obviously," he says, tossing the roller aside and stepping over the can towards her. "But it's definitely coming along. But, I am starting to question the sanity of wanting over nine-hundred floors. At least the purple looks great."_

_He plants his hands on his hips, quirking a brow at her. Clementine's there in a matter of seconds, flinging herself against him and wrapping her arms around his waist tightly, proving to herself that he's there._

_"Louis," she says again. "God, I- I missed you."_

_Louis presses her fully against him, holding her and mumbling into her curls, "Missed you, too."_

_Clementine peers up at his loving face, reaching up to touch the warmth of his cheek. She feels his hands grip her waist, brow becoming troubled._

_"How's your leg?" he asks._

_"Better," she grins. "I'm still in bed, but Willy and Omar found some crutches for me to use once I feel up to moving around. And Ruby brought the gramophone in for me to listen to."_

_"How's everyone else?"_

_"They're still a little shaken up, but they're handling it well. Violet's eyes are still healing and the one is too damaged see out of. And, AJ's been hovering over me most nights, making sure I'm okay. Aasim's been there, too. He gave me a notebook as a 'get-better-soon' gift."_

_"So, they're all safe?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You have no idea how good that is to hear."_

_Louis kisses her, a quick press, there and back. He holds her again, pressing his face into her neck and sighing. She runs her hands along his back, in awe at how he feels, how warm he is. He grins, baring all his teeth._

_"And, Tenn? How's he doing?"_

_A cold tingle runs up her legs, her spine, killing her smile. She breaks their gaze, staring up at the unfinished mansion, remaining silent._

_"Clementine."_

_His voice, so soft, makes her chin quiver._

_"Don't do that," he says. "Don't think like that."_

_Her eyes snap back to his, watery and defeated._

_"Louis," she croaks. "You're _dead_."_

_His expression shifts first into one of shock before melting into one of despair, brows knitting together sorrowfully. He blinks fast, biting his lip and nodding slowly._

_"I'm aware."_

_She pulls him by the nape of his neck and desperately presses another kiss to his lips, holding him there to savor the sensitive sensation. He angles his head, deepening the kiss and moving his mouth with hers in a way that nearly buckles her knees._

_When he tries to pull away, she doesn't let him._

_"Clem-" he murmurs against her lips before she locks their lips once more._

_Clementine kisses him the way she wished she had; passionate, lovingly, desperate. A kiss that could tell him everything._

_"Stop-"_

_"No."_

_His hands curl in the material of her sundress before sliding over her shoulders. When he finally breaks away, freckled cheeks flushed and lips parted in a silent gasp, sad lidded eyes staring down at her. She tries to kiss him again, but he leans away._

_"Please," she pleads, tightening her grip on him._

_"Darling, look at me."_

_Reluctantly, she does._

_"I'm sorry," he says. "But you're strong, Clem. The strongest person I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and you will get through this. You will forgive Tenn because he needs both you and AJ to become better, to teach him how to be brave and smart and a survivor, just like you guys. You have to be there for him. You can't let me die in vain like that."_

_Silent tears roll over her cheeks now as the words sink in._

_"Think you can do that for me? Because I know you can."_

_"I don't want to leave you."_

_"Don't _got_ much of a choice." Louis points over to the horizon where the sun's almost set. "It's time to wake up."_

_She shivers as an uncomfortable cooling sensation washes over her. She releases her hard grip on him, arms falling uselessly to her sides and neck weakening, allowing her head to fall forward to gaze down at their feet._

_"I should be here with you, helping you build our home."_

_She's startled when he grabs her hands, bringing them close to his chest where she can feel his heart -oh god- beat hard and heavy, alive and real._

_"Clementine, I need you to hear me, okay?" he says firmly. "You're not allowed to stay here with me until I've got this entire house built, all nine-hundred and fourteen floors, all painted and all decorated, and let me tell you-" he smiles so damn desperately at her, squeezing her hands in his, "-that's going to take a very, _very_ long time."_

_He presses her forehead to her, those dark eyes, so full of warmth, boring into her own._

_"Do you understand?"_

_She sniffles, breaking his gaze and peering back at the mansion, her home. His fingers gently caress her chin, forcing her to look at him again before he presses another light kiss to her pink lips. He moves to her cheek, her forehead, the tip of her nose._

_"Here's what I want you to do. I want you to take that notebook Aasim gave you and I want you to write to me."_

_"What?"_

_"Whenever you're sad, lonely, scared, happy, sick, bored, whatever. I want you to open up that book and write to me, tell me everything. What's been going on with you and the others, how AJ's doing, what you ate for dinner that day. Tell me if we lose someone else, or even meet someone new. Tell me every snarky thing Violet said that day, every new thing Tenn has learned. Ask me questions about our home, about life, about Lee. Ask me anything you've ever wanted to know."_

_He presses his palms against her flushed cheeks, thumbs brushing away her tears._

_"And when you're done writing, take the notebook and put it in the piano, right between the strings. That way, I'll know where to find it."_

_"Louis-" Clementine's voice cracks. "You- you can't-"_

_"I can, and I will," he cuts her off, firmly. Then, he shrugs with a smirk. "I sneak in there when Lee's not looking."_

_The ridiculousness of that comment brings out a small, teary smile from her._

_"Write to me, darling, and I promise I will read each and every single word."_

_He kisses her one last time, lingering close ever after they part, slow and reluctant. So desperately she wants to grab him again, press their mouths together again and never let go, never leave him again._

_But he pushes her away, holding firm to her shoulders and taking one last look over her. His fingers fall over her arms, down to her hands, until he finally let's go and steps back. She sees him blinking rapidly, swallowing thickly with a forlorn smile._

_"Good-bye, Clementine."_

_"Louis-"_

_She reaches out to him, but he turns his back to her, taking his first hesitant step away._

_"Louis," she calls again. "Wait-"_

_When he doesn't acknowledge her, she finally says it._

_"I love you."_

_His shoulders slump as he comes to a stop._

_His arm lifts, hand wiping at his face, his eyes._

_His voice, small but tangled in emotion, shoots straight through her heart._

_"I love you, too."_

_Clementine watches him walk away, back over to the house._

_Through her tears, her blurred vision, Louis fades away._


End file.
